I was going to write about something else today, but a fight broke out on the 5 train this morning, and I felt compelled to share.
I had to wait for 4 trains to pass before I could board one this morning because of signal problems. When I finally boarded, we were all packed in like a bunch of sardines. Between Nevins Street and Borough Hall, a fight broke out between a middle-aged man and a middle-aged woman.
WARNING: CONTAINS STRONG ADULT LANGUAGE
M: Can you please stop putting your damn elbow in my back?
W: What the fuck is your damn problem?
M: Can’t you move your big ass bag?
W: No, I can’t! Not for you.
M: Well then move your big ass!
W: Oh hell no! Fuck you motha fucker! You come over here and make me move.
M: Fuck you, you long titty, no nipple bitch!
W: What? Fuck you!
M: No fuck you!
W: Fuck me?
M: Oh hell no! I won’t fuck you.
W: I wouldn’t let you fuck me.
M: Well I don’t want to fuck you. Did I say I wanted to fuck you? Hell no!
W: Yo Mamma!
M: Oh yeah, my Mama!
W: Yeah, that nasty bitch that gave birth to you.
M: Yeah, well you are all fucked up. You came out of a damn test tube.
W: Fuck you, you gay ass mother fucker.
M: Why don’t you just shut your mouth, and get to your program?
W: I ain’t in any fucking program asshole! Fuck you!
Everyone is cracking up; no one can keep it together. The doors open at Borough Hall, and the man leaves.
W: Yeah, get your ass off the train you Zulu looking mother fucker. Damn King Kong’s grandfather.