329 Urination Station

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I worked at the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. in Times Square the first year I lived in NYC. I would often leave work at 2 am on any given night, and head back to Astoria. One night after work, I decided to go out with a few coworkers to a dive bar in Hell’s Kitchen. We drank til 4am. After the festivities, my coworker Mark and I got on the train and headed towards Astoria.

Halfway through the train ride Mark had to urinate and didn’t think he would be able to make it home. When you have drunk a lot, this is a legit concern. I told him to go in-between the cars and pee off the train. He thought it was a good idea, so he opened the door and went in-between the cars to do his business.

Mark was out there for 5 minutes in the pouring rain, with the train screaming full speed ahead, until he signals he is ready to come back in the train. I go to open the door, and I can’t. It’s locked. Mark is now stuck between the cars in the pouring rain.

I kept yelling for him to jump to the platform at the next stop, but he was too scared. The poor guy was out there soaking wet, with no way out. Mark started to panic, and pounded on the door screaming in a high-pitched voice, “Let me in! Let me in!” His eyes looked like they were going to pop out of his head.

I look around and realized I was in the front car of the train, so I went and got the train operator. I knocked on the door and he poked his head out. He was not happy with me as his train was now delayed because of some drunken jerks moving between trains, but he unlocked the door.

Mark ran in and gave me a big hug. He was sobbing. I remember saying, “Well at least you peed!” Turns out, he hadn’t. Mark was too afraid he was going to get electrocuted from his urine hitting the third rail, so he didn’t pee.

He ran off at the next stop to pee in the corner of the station, and I journeyed on home.

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