325 My Deadwood Episode

Warning: This post contains adult language.

In 2009 my parents came to visit right after Christmas, in hopes of catching some of the holiday decorations. After a long day of sightseeing, we found ourselves in Times Square around 9pm deciding what to do next.

The family decided that we would walk down to Macy’s to check out the decorations. Andy, my then boyfriend, decided he was going to head back to the apartment as he exhausted. So my mother, father, second cousin, and I headed down Broadway.

Around 37th street, a man was briskly walking towards us and mumbling to himself. He walked up to my cousin, got right in her face and yelled, “Boo!” to startle her. Then he headed towards my father and it looked like he was going to push him. At that point, I decided to open my big mouth. I had enough of what this jackass was offering.

If you have seen Deadwood, there is a specific word that gets used a great deal (click HERE for article), and it was my preferred nomenclature in that moment. Just like Al Swearengen, I turned towards him and yelled, “Leave us the fuck alone, you fucking (insert preferred nomenclature here)!”

The man proceeded to turn around and run down the street towards us. He grabbed me and pushed me up against the building we were passing. His hand was in his coat and it looked like he had a gun underneath it, pointed right at my chest. The man started screaming, “What the fuck did you call me bitch? What the fuck? What did you call me bitch?” All of this as my family watches in horror.

As a means to an end, I apologized over and over again. I just wanted him to go away. It felt like an eternity. He released me from his grasp and took off running towards Times Square hysterically laughing. I was shaken and pissed.

I apologized to my family who seemed freaked out and angry at me for my outburst. It was embarrassing to say the least. We walked the rest of the way in silence.

When we arrived at Macy’s there were no decorations. All that BS for nothing.

I learned a valuable lesson that day: In NYC, you need to stand up for yourself, but be cautious. There are people in this city who have mental issues or who are just d-bags, and won’t think twice about doing terrible things to you. Some fights just aren’t worth fighting.

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