315 Elderly Favors

On Friday I was in Bed-Stuy next to the Marcy Houses, and an ancient woman stopped me and asked me to do something for her. I couldn’t understand what she wanted but she kept pointing up the stairs of a brownstone. So I walked up the stairs. The woman yelled, “No, no, no!” and showed me that she had two boxes from Amazon that needed to go up the stairs. So I walked down the stairs and picked them up.

The woman signaled for me to ring the second bell so I did. After about a minute there was no answer. The woman yelled, “Use your key!” I said, “What?” She said, “Use your key, and put the boxes in the lobby.” I turned around and said, “But I don’t have a key.” “You don’t have your key?” she yelled. I just stood there with a confused look on my face. The woman then said, “Don’t you live here?” I laughed and said “No…” She proceeded to tell me I look just like one of the tenants, and apologized profusely. However, she was not letting me off the hook just yet.

The woman summoned me down and handed me a key ring with 20 keys on it. She instructed, “You have to try them all! I don’t know which one it is!” She didn’t know which key to use? Oy! So I went through the ring over and over again without success. I kept losing my place and having to start back at the beginning. It was a mess. All the while the woman is yelling, “Open the door! Open the Door! Put the packages in the hallway.”

After about five minutes, I finally found the key and had the door open. She yelled again, “Put them in the hallway.” So I did. I then locked the door, and descended the stairs to hand her the keys. The woman said, “God bless you! God bless you!”, and I was on my merry way.

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