This past Friday I enjoyed a fantastic Broadway show and the company of an old friend. After my friend and I parted ways in Midtown around 1:00am, I rode a slow-moving train to Brooklyn that took over an hour to get me home.
When I arrived at my stop at 2:00am, I stepped out of the train into something soft and squishy. My right foot slid across the platform and I almost fell on my ass, but I caught my balance just in time.
I turned around to see what I slipped on and saw a large pile of human feces smeared all over the platform, and now all over my right shoe. I loudly groaned some choice expletives and drug my foot home trying to get the poo off my shoe. I cleaned the shoe several times, only for it to continue smelling like human dookie.
Thanks MTA for closing all of your bathrooms, and aiding in ruining a perfectly good pair of Dansko clogs.