Andy is 14 years and 5 months older than I am. This has caused some judgment to stir in some people we know and strangers alike.
On Monday as I was waiting for the doctor to speak to me after Andy’s surgery, I was in the waiting area next to a couple in their late 50’s. The wife was talking loudly on the phone to a family member, and the husband was playing a game on his phone with the volume turned up to 11. I could tell they were from Brooklyn by the loud, thick dialect spewing from the woman’s mouth.
After the doctor found me to update me on the surgery, the woman looked over at me and said, “Hey!”
I ignored her thinking she was speaking to her husband.
So she yelled again over the blings and beeps of her husband’s game.
I looked over and asked her if she was talking to me.
“Yeah!” she said. “Is that your friend who you are waiting on?”
“What?” I asked.
“Is that your friend? I saw you with him before the surgery. Is he your friend?” she said in a judgmental tone.
“No actually. He is my husband.” I said as I smiled at her.
“Oh!” she replied as she looked away.
A few seconds later she asked her husband to get up with her and leave the waiting room for a while. As she grabbed her bags she said, “Good luck to you.” Then she and her husband walked away.
Why the hell did it matter to her who Andy was?
Is what I am doing affecting you personally?
If the answer is yes, feel free to speak to me.
If the answer is no, keep your mouth shut.
I overcame the frustration of the situation when I reminded myself that judgmental people are generally expressing their own insecurities. Because it really had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with her.