Not Like I Imagined

Today I had the final meeting with my supervisor to solidify my new role and responsibilities for 2018. A great deal of anxiety led up to this moment. I picked up a good amount of responsibility over the past year and I’ve been pushing to have my work taken seriously. It’s time take the next step in my career and get a new title, but not everyone has been onboard. Hence the anxiety.

The meeting with my boss took 20-minutes. We ironed out most of the remaining issues with my current job and I was given the green light to proceed to HR for finalization.

Despite the ease of the meeting, I left feeling unsure. Is this the right decision? Will this help or hinder my career? Was I foolish to push for these changes? Can I actually do what I said I can do? What am I agreeing to? Is this going to suck?

When I worked as an actor, I used to imagine landing a role on Broadway. This particular daydream was rather pleasant, but as I got older, I started to realize that if I ever achieved that level of success, my life wouldn’t magically become perfect overnight. In fact, my life may feel exactly the same it did before the Broadway show. I mean, it’s still work after all.

I found myself thinking about that same realization today as I realized I wasn’t jumping for joy when the meeting was over. I thought I would feel like I booked a Broadway show. Like fireworks and champagne would be my first order of business. But my accomplishment didn’t feel any different, it felt like another day in the world of adulting.

It did feel good to be recognized for all of my efforts, but I will save the Dom Perignon and bottle rockets for another day.