176 My Personal Hell


Two Saturday’s ago I was sitting next to a pregnant woman in my class. She left halfway through the class to buy some snacks, and when she came back she had a full size bag of Funyuns with her.

The assignment that day was to read a particularly long Supreme Court decision, which we were given class time to do. The professor left the classroom so we could read in silence for 40 minutes.

My classmate with the Funyuns, opened up the bag and crunched her way through the entire thing while I was trying to read right next to her. I was ready to jump out of my skin with the loud open mouth chewing and crunching noise, in addition to the constant bag crinkling.

I didn’t get any of my reading done, to say the least.

She is a sweet woman but she is lucky. I would have dumped those Funyuns all over the floor in a fit of rage if she weren’t so nice.



225 The Death of Saturday


I am currently laying in bed with the cat sleeping at my feet, watching infomercials for airbrush makeup. It’s my last free Saturday for 7 months. You might be saying, “Lucky you! I never have a Saturday off”, and in that respect I am lucky. But that doesn’t mean I am not clinging on to this last lazy day like my life is depending on it.

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